A Letter To Santa...

A Letter To Santa...


Dear Santa,

I'm aware that you're a mythical figure conjured up from the imagination of writers, children, parents and storytellers. But if kids can write to you each year to share their hopes and dream gift list, then why can’t I? 

Anyway, here goes...

Santa, I've been an exceptionally good person this year. Well, except for that time I cursed out you know who. But he deserved it. And I guess I could've been nicer to that lady and the other ladies too (unrelated incidents) but we both know those chicks deserved it too!


I'd like to request the following items for Christmas. Some items may require more time for you and the elves to obtain. Should you need an extension, you have until my birth month, next April 2016.

Without further adieu, here's my top 10 gift list.

10. One-year paid subscription to Netflix, so I can continue to enjoy my Netflix and pajama time.

9. A six month supply of Sweet Shiraz by Jam Jar wine to enjoy with my Netflix subscription. Intravenous or bottled, either one works for me. 

8. A one month reprieve from having to explain my resting bitch face to the self-involved and easily offended. 

7. I need Olitz (Olivia & Fitz from Scandal) to be together. I’m seriously sick of their romance melodrama. I need them to have at least one season of happiness. You know like McDreamy & Meredith. I know this is a big request but see what you can do.

6. A year supply of cat food for the lovable stray cat in my community - Milo. He's adorable and loves living on his own. This will enable my neighbor and I to take turns feeding him. We don't want him to ever go hungry. 

5. A rental husband to do household chores like walk the dog, feed Milo, load the dishwasher, run errands, fix my car and hold my hand during my tooth extraction scheduled for next year.

4. A rental husband for all my friends, even the married ones.

3. Patience to accept people, life and the world as it. While I try to be an instrument of change to help fix the problems that are hurting so many people. A contradictory statement I know.

2. Please bring love and comfort to everyone who's lost loved ones to acts of violence this year. I grieve with them. Their pain is my pain. 

1. This last one's a doozy. If you can only give me one thing, please make it this. Remind every person who thinks the world is in utter turmoil that this life and this world is what we make it. They should be the change they want to see in this world. Get up and do something like volunteer work, donate to the American Red Cross, help out at a local animal shelter or get to know someone in their neighborhood who has a different culture than theirs. Don't just sit at home in fear complaining about it. After all, there are enough talking heads already doing that. 

Thanks so much Santa!

Images from Pixabay.

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