5 Reasons I Suck At Friendships
Lately, I've been in a reflective, dare I say nostalgic state of mind. I find myself thinking about past relationships; more specifically, past friendships. Friendships that I've ruined because sometimes, I just suck at friendships.
No, that's not a typo!
I know that I'm a good person but there are times when I'm the world worst friend. I've compiled some examples to show you that I'm not exaggerating and to hopefully help you avoid the same fate.
- I take days to return phone calls. And since I'm being honest and authentic, I'm not good at responding to text messages either. One of my friends recently called me out this behavior and strongly suggested that I change this habit as it hurts her feelings. Hurting her feelings isn't my intention, so I'm trying to be a more thoughtful person.
- I thoughtlessly cut people out of my life without warning or explanation. If I feel like someone has done me wrong, whether real or perceived, I cut them off. Over the years this has led me to ending friendships without making any attempts to resolve issues and without giving the person an opportunity to explain. My advice, don't conjure up stories in your head. Talk things out or you could end up losing a good friend.
- I'm afraid of being vulnerable. I came to this realization a couple of days ago. When it feels like I'm getting to close to someone and that our friendship is deepening...I cut them off. Rationally, I know it's immature behavior but I think it's my way of protecting myself from what I see as an inevitable hurtful relationship. Yeah, I'm warped. I know.
- Sometimes, I can be a poor communicator. For reference or explaination, review reasons 1 through 3. Maybe I'm just better with animals than people.
- I'm flaky. Okay, this one really isn't my fault. I'm an introvert so sometimes making plans sounds good in theory but when it comes to leaving my cocoon, I decide to bail and cancel plans. I'd rather be home than out with other people, sometimes that includes a good friend.
While it's difficult to admit the truth about oneself, the beautiful thing about self realization is it creates an opportunity for me to now be my best self. That's what I'm trying to be...a better friend who creates better friendships that allow space for intimacy and vulnerability.
I'm sure you're a much better friend than me, so please share your tips for creating long lasting friendships in the comment section below.
Cover image from CreateHer.